Koh Phi Phi

17th-22nd March

I knew when we chose to go to Koh Phi Phi that we were entering one of the main tourist areas of Thailand. How can a place that beautiful not be over run with tourists?

The volume of people is quite unbelievable. Hundreds pouring off boats every hour onto a small Island where there is so much sewage as a result, that it is shipped back to the mainland for processing. Despite the number of people and perhaps because of the sewage management, the water is incredibly clean and clear and there are fish everywhere.

We take a trip by boat into the main town (on the Isthmus) and wander up and down the alleyways. There are some real sights. One is a woman with super-tanned implants with the nipples on the outside of her bikini. Stella is a little horrified. I am too. I wonder if the quality of the Bangkok hospital is such that a lot of people come over for surgery holidays. From the looks of things, there are a few on Phi Phi in post-surgery recovery.

I once watched an episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding where a couple of traveler folk take a holiday to Malaga. This was reminiscent of that episode.

We are not having a cultural experience in Thailand as much as a tourist experience, but that’s ok. It’s beautiful here.

Having watched the terrible movie and seen all the postcards we can’t possibly not go to Koh Phi Phi Leh, the smaller Island nearby. We take a long-boat from where we are staying and leave at 8am in order to beat the crowds. We arrive in Maya Bay about half an hour later and there are already so many people on the small beach that we decide not to go ashore. We would be paying National Park fees of about $60 for all of us to set foot on the beach and then there’d be a whole lot of other people’s bodies in my holiday snaps. Maybe even a couple of those crazy brown boobs.

We snorkel in another bay around the corner and it becomes an exercise in not being run over by other long-boats. The water and the scenery is incredible but unfortunately, the coral is grey and broken under the water as there seems to be no rules about putting down anchors amongst the coral.

Our final stop is in the lagoon where we stop right in the middle and jump off. The water is warm and clear and the white sandy bottom makes it feel as if we’re inside a giant swimming pool. We get about ten minutes there before about 50 launches on day trips from Phuket, stream into the lagoon and tie up around the edges. Hundreds of people in life jackets are launched off the sides and bob around with a perimeter net around them for safety. It feels very liberating at that point, to be a New Zealander jumping off the side of a long boat in the middle of a lagoon with Chinese tourists piled into launches taking photos of us with their phones sticking out the side of a boat as they power past.

Koh Phi Phi Leh is a bit like a tropical Whangaroa Harbor with its dramatic cliffs. We are glad we came.

Back at the Tokho Beach Resort, the boys play with the local kids on the beach for a few hours which is a real relief. It’s cool how kids can play without a shared language.