Bangkok

The Dang Derm Hotel in Khao San Road

So perhaps I got a little confused. I had got the impression from someone that Khao San road was the cultural centre of Bangkok. I imagined little street vendors and delicious Thai restaurants.

When we arrive at about 8.30pm, we were dropped off at the beginning of the Road because traffic is not allowed from about 4pm.

It is crazy. This is not the cultural hub, this is a seething mass of drunken, hideously amateur, tattooed, fleshy-looking humanity and as we push our way through the crowds, it is obvious that I have made a slight error.

The woman at the front desk explains that the “family room” is positioned looking over Khao San Road and therefore a little noisy but ear plugs are supplied. The room is cool. Just like in the pictures. Shame that pictures don’t have accompanying sound.

The party has started by the time we arrive in our room. Except the party’s not actually in our room.

By 10pm the 3 competing street-front nightclubs either underneath us or on either side, have turned the sound up a few more notches and by midnight, it’s just a matter of whose music can go the loudest.

Stella and I make a fun game of trying to hear individual songs amongst the noise.

I don’t know if Stella is still doing this at 2am because I hope she’s asleep, but I am still playing, in an attempt to pass the time until the music switches off at 3am.

Only the noise doesn’t stop then. There are a number of karaoke bars still in operation and the singers are drunk. Plus, all of the street vendors are packing up their stalls and shouting to each other. Someone is talking on a loud haler and someone else is ringing a bell continuously.

Roger isn’t asleep either.

He mutters “this is a nightmare” for the 100^th time.

The kids seem to think it’s quite exciting but we are very tired and cranky and I get my first dud booking review from Roger.

The next morning, we move from the 2^nd to the 5^th floor in the hope that it may be a little quieter. We spend the majority of the day recovering from a lack of sleep. Stella has a bad tummy so she stays home while we take a tuk-tuk to the river and catch a local ferry up and down to get our bearings.

The hotel has a cool roof-top pool and the amount of smog makes the sunset completely red. There are some pretty shady people sitting around. One can’t help but imagine they’re on a Thai sex holiday. Roger looks a bit like he’s on one too, in his little white and black hibiscus speedos so we join him at the roof top bar to help him look less dodgy.

Back in the room, everything is looking hopeful until about 10pm. Tonight there are drunken altercations to add to the noise. I stuff the ear plugs so far in that the next day the bones of my inner ear are hurting, but I have a better sleep.  I remember the times I used to lie down on the carpet at Parties and have a little nap. It’s a bit like that.

The next day we take a day trip to Ayutthaya, the original capital city if Thailand where there are many amazing ancient temples and more Buddhas than you can shake a stick at. I suppose this is a Buddhist country so it’s not surprising.

Unlike Bali, where the manufacturing of Buddhas for the tourist market is a legitimate business, here in Thailand it is frowned upon to purchase the Buddha. We keep our 4 cubic meters of Buddhas quiet as a precaution.

It is so hot in Ayutthaya that the kids all give up looking at temples.

I’ve got a little fever and an extreme sensitivity to the light so while it is an interesting day, it is also pretty challenging.

The next day I am well and truly sick and the idea of seeing the sights of Bangkok is abandoned for the new plan of how to get out of Khao San road as quickly as possible.

My meticulous planning has not extended to transport bookings and it appears a little trickier to get all the way to Koh Phi Phi in one day. We book a night train that will get us out a night earlier.

As pre Koh Phi Phi educational viewing, our choices are, 1. A post tsunami drama or 2. The Beach, staring Leonardo DeCaprio.

I remember this being a terrible movie but want the kids to see some of the beautiful scenery of Koh Phi Phi Lei where we will be travelling.

Not only is The Beach a terrible movie, it is also inappropriate.

Day 4 and we check out of the Dang Derm, wishing the incoming guests a good night’s sleep, we travel to the train station.

Jasper is convinced that all of our stuff will be stolen while we’re asleep. (I wonder where this paranoia comes from???) and I have a fever and am grinding my teeth. Roger takes a series of bad photos and posts them straight to Facebook.

We are all sleeping on top bunks with strangers underneath us as we booked a little late to get a choice of beds. By the time our beds are put down and we are all snuggly tucked up behind our curtains, it feels petty safe and compared to the noise of the last 4 nights, we could sleep through anything.

I have heaps of great medication from the Bangkok pharmacy to stave off my flu symptoms, including high dose pseudo-ephedrine and I have a reasonable sleep.

None of us have ever slept on a train with beds so it’s pretty novel, especially when I wake at 4am with a Thai man’s face next to my pillow. We have arrived in Surat Thani and it’s time to get off (really quickly).

After a van trip, a bus trip, a van trip and a ferry trip we arrive in Koh Phi Phi.

It is more beautiful than I thought but it is a mass of boats and tourists. I try not to think of all the tsunami imagery I looked at before coming. Of body bags all along the beach and the skinny isthmus between the two chunks of Island completely swamped. There is still a lot of rebuilding happening and I’m glad that we’ve chosen to stay on the other side of the Island, which means another small boat trip.

The Tokho Beach resort is pretty basic and very hot with just a fan at night that’s switched on at 6pm.

I am finding the lack of children while travelling a bit sad, as I think we’re a little lonely as a family and the endless young perpetual-traveller types are all on their own buzz.

Jasper and Louie have spent the entire day making a hermit crab maze and Stella is fighting the flu I gave her.

Still no school work!